The Surprising Power of Small Connections

How a weekend of "social snacking" reminded me that connection is everywhere

There is a great deal of research about the benefits of social connection. While many people are aware of the value of close friends and acquaintances, I’ve found that far fewer people know about the incredible benefits of small interactions with strangers—what researchers call “micro-connections,” or “social snacking” (small but emotionally satisfying interactions available to us in our everyday life).

Any time you are around other people, there is an opportunity to make a micro-connection. 

These might look like:

• Chatting with a barista as you order your coffee

• Greeting a coworker in the hallway

• Complimenting someone’s dog

• Smiling at a neighbor

• Asking a cashier how their day is going

• Holding the door for someone, or thanking someone who holds the door for you

These small moments can make a profound difference to our physical and mental well-being. Eye contact, a warm tone of voice, and a moment of genuine attention can help our nervous systems feel safe. They can decrease feelings of isolation, boost our mood (and often the mood of the person we’re interacting with), lower stress hormones like cortisol, and cue the release of feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin and dopamine.

Even when the last thing we feel like doing is talking to someone, it can be surprisingly good for us. In one interesting study, commuters who were asked to chat with a stranger ended up feeling happier and more connected than those who rode in silence. This was true even for those who had expected the conversation to be uncomfortable. 

This past weekend, I headed to Chicago and decided to do a little experiment: I intentionally increased my social snacking and paid close attention to how I felt after each interaction. 

Overall, the extra chatting gave me a noticeable boost in mood. It also felt like I was spreading a little joy as I went.

Here are three things I learned from the experiment:

1. Take the risk to go first

On the first morning of my trip, I was on the airport shuttle with just one other young woman. Rather than riding in silence, I took a chance and asked, “Where are you headed today?”

That opened the door to a lovely five-minute conversation that lasted the whole ride to the airport. I learned that she was heading to an Ironman event in New Mexico to hand out samples for the non-alcoholic beer company she works for. She was running late for her flight, and I like to think that talking with me helped ease her anxiety. At the very least, I know I stepped off the shuttle with a smile on my face.

2. Invite people into play and fun

As soon as I arrived in Chicago, my dear friend (and former CoJourn partner) Liz Adames scooped me up and took me straight to Trader Joe’s to get supplies for the weekend.

We had a cart overflowing with groceries, and as we approached the checkout line, she announced, “Okay! Are you ready to play The Price Is Right?”

The cashiers immediately recognized both the game and Lizzy (apparently she does this every time she comes to the store).  They started enthusiastically shouting out their guesses for the total without going over. Before long, a couple of other customers joined in, too. For a few minutes, the checkout line transformed into a little pocket of joy, and everyone walked away smiling.

It was such a good reminder that fun is contagious and strangers are more receptive to it than we may think.

3. Learn people’s names—and use them.

I learned this from our CoJourn facilitator and advisor, Angélica Canlas Castro. She has a wonderful way of making everyone she meets feel seen, and one of the simplest ways she does that is by asking people their names, and then actually using them.

On the last day of the trip, Lizzy and I ran a 5K. After the race, I walked over to thank the race organizer and introduced myself. When I asked her name, I noticed her face brighten. Later that afternoon, I asked our server at lunch her name as well. It was a tiny moment, but the interaction immediately felt warmer and more personal.

I realized how often we interact with people without ever learning their names. Taking the extra few seconds to ask changed the tone of the conversation almost instantly. It made the interaction feel less transactional and more human—for both of us.

Research backs this up. Our names are deeply connected to our sense of identity, and hearing our own name naturally captures our attention and helps us feel recognized. Simply asking someone's name (and then using it naturally) is one of the easiest ways to turn a routine interaction into a genuine connection. (And taking the time to pronounce it correctly is part of showing that respect.)

I thoroughly enjoyed this little experiment, and I plan to keep looking for opportunities to increase my social snacking.

The biggest takeaway for me is this: connection doesn't have to be big to be meaningful. We are wired for connection, and some of the healthiest moments in our day may be the tiniest ones—a brief conversation, a shared laugh, a kind word, or simply being fully present with another human being for thirty seconds.

I also realized that people are far more open to connection than I tend to assume. More often than not, all it takes is one person willing to go first. For me, the biggest hurdle wasn't whether people would respond—it was having the courage to break the ice.

So this week, I invite you to try one extra micro-connection. Ask the barista how their morning is going. Compliment a stranger's dog. Learn someone's name. Strike up a conversation while you're waiting in line. You might be surprised by how much brighter your day feels—and how much brighter you make someone else's.